Doctors Find Link Between Golf Pro Shop Hauls and Increased Emotional Intimacy

By Lexie Cromwell
Staff Reporter

A new study out of Stanford confirms what many partners of golfers have long suspected: men become markedly more affectionate and emotionally available after a successful pro shop shopping spree.

“Golf gear triggers a dopamine surge not unlike a small bonus or a playoff win,” said Dr. Michael Kearn, lead researcher. “We’re seeing spikes in mood, helpfulness, even full sentences at dinner.”

The study followed 300 golfers for a year, tracking purchases and post-haul behavior. The most noticeable changes occurred after acquiring handsewn headcovers, slightly tapered polos, and logoed shorts.

“After he picked up a BDraddy pocket polo and an Imperial Mid-Crown Rope Hat, he made dinner and asked about my mom,” said participant Marissa Klein. “I almost cried.”

Retailers are leaning in.
“We’re not just selling apparel—we’re saving date night,” said Blaine Turnbull of Atlanta Athletic Club.

Therapists agree.
“Forget roses,” said couples counselor Sean Kagan. “Send him to the pro shop.”

The Haul Afterglow

A couple curled up on the couch, surrounded by opened pro shop bags like it’s Christmas morning.

Critics caution the effects may fade once the tags are removed or the gear hits the laundry. But for now, the path to male intimacy may start at the needlepoint rack.